Can we all agree that Matt Lauer has single-handedly ruined the buzz haircut for all men? I mean, Matt has had hair plugs for like, 15 years, yet now he has buzzed his hair. What's the deal? Would that be like Michael Jackson, after all this skin bleaching, joining a tanning salon?

But I know why Matt did it. Katie Couric talked him into it. Cause Katie Couric is Satan. Don't let all the giggling and smiling fool you, yep, she is a 21st Century Beelzebub. No one can be that "up"all the time. She probably signed a pact with the devil many years ago. Or, if you are a believer, you will go with my theory that she is the demon spawn of Mary Tyler Moore and Charles Manson.

Lots of people think Katie is just plain cute. Think again. Every move she makes is a plot to drive people over the edge. She has this whole smiley, sugary, "I"ve got the world by the tail attitude." But think about it, just who is her audience? Unemployed people. Sure lots of people pass by the TV with her mug on their way out the door or between the shower and the coffee maker, but it's the jobless that are stuck for hours listening to her seemingly harmless, but obviously hypnotic toothful banter.

So look at the situation. You're unemployed, stuck at home and money running dry. The best prospect you have for a job is in middle management at McDonalds which means you are in charge of the French fry timers. So you are stuck at home listening to Katie, the female version of Golum from Lord of the Rings, telling you that the secret of a happy life is getting your child into the right preschool. Meanwhile, you don't even have any kids because you can't find a pretty girl to marry, let alone, sleep with a guy who pays for his groceries with his Visa Card and has to roll quarters to make the rent.

Yea, thanks Katie!! While your at it, can you come directly to my house and perform oral surgery on me without anesthesia … which wouldn't even be that bad, because the last time I even heard the word "oral" in my house was under a different presidential administration. And I'm upset like this just because Matt Lauer changed his hairstyle.

Katie is Satan. Just remember that the next time you tune in to watch one of those parking lot concerts. How else could anyone explain … Al Roker.