HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER
OF SECRETS
Directed by: Chris Columbus
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert
Grint, Robbie Coltrane, Kenneth Branagh, Alan
Rickman, Richard Harris
Genre: Fantasy
2002
Watson Scale: 4.5
I’ve always felt the Potter series of books
(which is grade B fantasy) was a hit because the
author made sure the main characters were easy
to identify with: Hermione is smarter than all
the boys (as we know, ALL girls have no doubt
whatsoever that they are smarter than boys and
men), while Harry is a sort of Joe-Everykid (almost
every early-teenage boy can look in the mirror
and see Harry looking back).
Though this “formula” was always obvious
to me, it was only after watching THE CHAMBER
OF SECRETS that I came to understand another layer
of J.K. Rowling’s master plan: all the adults
are so stupid (including the supposedly wise but,
in reality, incredibly dense, Dumbledore) that
kids simply go ape, since it’s apparent
to every child on Earth that one’s brain
ripens and rots as age drags us into our inevitable
dotage.
There is no doubt that this “adults are
idiots” subliminal message sells countless
books and brings everyone under the age of 17
to a theater near you. Unfortunately, I personally
find it irksome to see Harry trying to explain
that horrible things are about to happen, while
the adults ignore him throughout every movie and
simply repeat (like brainless robots), “You’ve
broken the rules again, Mr. Potter! You must NOT
break the rules!”
But, my feelings are not important. What IS important
are the feelings of the gibbering masses of hysterical
Potter-addicted youth. Clearly, they love the
Potter universe; clearly, the stories and characters
speak to them; clearly, the books and movies are
accomplishing exactly what they were meant to
do.
I, for one, wasn’t impressed with the first
Potter movie. It was slow (as in lethargic) and,
in a strange way, soulless. Yes, the effects were
nice, but the feeling that it was all glitter
with no substance still torments me today. Wait!
What am I saying? It’s a movie for children,
not War and Peace!
Anyway, such were my dismissive thoughts as I
walked towards the theater for the premiere of
HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS (the screams
of fans resonating in my ears as the various actors
strolled down the carpet). Grabbing the usual
free popcorn and coke (All the kids got bags full
of Harry Potter goodies. Oh how I stared at those
bags, my eyes full of jealous desire!), I took
my seat, listened to producer David Heyman’s
live speech, and off we went into Pottermania.
Though I’ll never be a fan of Harry Potter,
I have to admit that I preferred this film to
its predecessor. The effects were a bit more sparkling,
there was far more action, and there was a LOT
more intensity (an army of giant spiders decided
to dine on Harry, a 50-foot monster snake decided
to dine on Harry, a huge man eating tree decided
to dine on Harry…).
As usual, I came away feeling that something was
missing (perhaps the almost three hours it took
to watch it?), the adult characters were as stupid
as always, and nothing – absolutely nothing
– got killed. With so much non-stop menace
filling the screen in scene after scene, how can
we constantly avoid an invigorating beheading,
or perhaps a tantalizing evisceration?
I think the kids will flock to this flick. Yes,
they will be a bit more terrified than they were
in Potter 1, and there might even be a tear or
two falling when Harry’s in danger, or when
Hermione is turned into…well, I can’t
give everything away! Suffice it to say that Heyman
(producer), Columbus (director) and Kloves (screenwriter)
successfully brought Harry’s world to pseudo-life
again.
My message in a nutshell: take your children,
(they’ll love it!) but leave old grumps
like myself at home.
 
Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
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