This was a gala affair, with thousands of fans surrounding the two theaters that presented the premiere. By now I have the procedure of getting to my seat down to a science: 1) Drive through a wall-to-wall elephant-walk of cars lined up to get into the lot. 2) Using a machete, hack my way past the immobile fan/groupie-zombies that block my access to the street. 3) Show my ticket to the goons that keep the masses at a “safe” distance from the affair (translation: stopping them from charging the celebrities in hysterical zeal). 4) Finally hitting the red carpet.

Once on the carpet I tend to go with the flow and let the energy of the situation dictate my next move. I might rush to my seat in an effort to stop bumping into hot, sweaty bodies that seem to be everywhere, or, as on this occasion, I might simply look around and enjoy the ambiance. Since I had Vanessa Williams in front of me, posing for the cameras (blocking me completely!) as the paparazzi went berserk, I calmed down and watched Schwarzenegger and various other celebs give interviews and waltz about in their usual “look at me!” sort of way.

When the movie finally began (all of us herded to our seats like poorly behaved cattle) it quickly became clear that this was more or less a remake of Terminator 2. A bit more humor, some different actors, and superior effects – none of this could really cover up the fact that the script was nothing more than a slightly rehashed version of the previous one. This doesn’t mean that the movie was bad. No, it was completely equal to Terminator 2, which should please many Terminator junkies.

As in T-2, the film was really nothing more than one long chase scene. First we get a shot of John Connor, now grown up, explaining why he is never in one place too long, and never uses credit cards or anything else that would allow random terminators to figure out where he is. Then the new super terminator (the T-X) appears from the future (nude, blonde, and sporting a deep lust for fast cars) followed by Arnold (T-101), who promptly finds his clothes in much the same way he did in T-2. The rest is the chase (And I must admit that it’s a very exciting chase indeed!) mentioned earlier.

It’s all very well done, the evil super-T offers plenty of unstoppable menace, and we get a few nifty “nukes atomizing huge city” shots. Yes, it’s fun, but I’m also left wondering what the point is (other than using “sequel-power” to rake in huge amounts of money). We know the story, we know the premise, and we know that very little original material will be used (making use of the old “if it isn’t broken, why fix it” argument). This brings me back to the point I posed in my review of AVALON: some movies have depth and meaning, and some simply are mindless good fun. If you want to click your brain off and watch great car chases, stunning effects, lots of bullets flying in all directions, huge explosions, and a beautiful blonde beating Arnold to a pulp, then this is the flick for you!

Once the last “boom” sounded on screen and T-3 ended, I rushed out to collect my car and dashed to the Wadsworth Theater to enjoy the party. It was quite a bash, with T-3 themes everywhere the eye would wander, men in terminator sunglasses lining the entrance, great food relentlessly coming at you from all directions, enormous bars offering further inducements to forget one’s cares and melt into the live music and pulse of the crowds, and stars of all shapes/sizes/fame (Tom Arnold and Ben Aflek were one odd couple that caught my attention) dashing about and enjoying the hottest fling in town.

All in all, another excellent Los Angeles evening (my veins are still humming from the sugar and the bubbles) – the movie lived up to expectations and the party was hopping. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll pop AVALON into the DVD player and watch it for the fourth time – my action-numbed brain needs to be kick-started and I can’t think of a more pleasurable way to do it.

Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines
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