THREE EXTREMES

(2004)

125 minutes

Three horror directors from three different Asian countries

Reviewed by Val Frost

The Box

Directed by Takashi Miike

Starting: Kyoko Hasegawa, Atsuro Watabe

Japanese

Watson Scale (0 being worst and 6 being perfect): 5 stars

Haunting story about a women whose tragic past haunts her on a daily basis. As children, her and her twin sister performed in a sideshow circus as contortionist/dancers, but jealousy intervened and now memories of the past haunt the survivor’s dreams. Or are they dreams at all…?

Dumplings

Directed by Fruit Chan

Starting: Bai Ling, Pauline Law, Mimi Lee

Chinese

Watson Scale (0 being worst and 6 being perfect): 2.25 stars

An aging actress visits a woman whose dumplings are purported to have a special ingredient that will help reverse the aging process. You don’t want to know what the ingredient is. Really, trust me, you don’t want to know.

Cut

Directed by Chan-wook Park

Starting: Byung-hun Lee, Won-hee Lim, Hye-jong Kang

Korean

Watson Scale (0 being worst and 6 being perfect): 2 stars

Famous film director is captured and held hostage, along with his pianist wife, in their home. Or is it his movie set? The kidnapper is pissed that his own life sucks while the director’s life appears ideal and full, and goes to extremes to make him suffer.

Really, the only film worthwhile here is Miike’s. It’s both disturbing and beautiful. The cinematography is gorgeous, the story is slow but very David Lynch-ian, and while not scary, it is pretty creepy. My only complaint about it is the one cheap shot at the end; but then its easily forgotten while other images linger in your mind far after the film is over.

Cut and Dumplings are flawed and not really worth the time (except to say “yeah, I’ve seen it, and it was gross!” or something, you get the idea.) My main problem with both films is that I just didn’t care about the characters. Perhaps it was the short length or the format (or cultural differences) but I just found everybody either unlikable or just uninteresting. What made Box different was its dreamy pace, its snowy landscapes, it’s sheer lushness. Nothing in Box is rooted in reality, or at least a reality that we know, but its rich colors and lack of sound suck us in, and all we can do is watch, fascinated. Both Dumplings and Cut reminded me the crappy 1980’s TV show Tales from the Darkside or the awful 80’s revival of The Twilight Zone. Both shows had ludicrous and absurd plots, but no real character development. No subtlety or finesse, just the kitchen sink mentality of shock value = good horror. But this mentality is flawed because shock value for the sake of shock value is boring. Cut is downright boring and tedious, despite all the yelling and the blood. Dumplings is not only nearly unwatchable, but pointless and silly. Yeah, it’s somewhat shocking, but who gives a good goddamn if the characters are uninteresting or annoying fools? Zzzzzz … Only one minor plotline in Dumplings was believable and interesting, but it was sadly all too brief.

And the lesson here is, boring and silly do not good horror films make.

Get in the Box, but skip the Dumplings and the Cut.

Watson Scale for the overall film (0 being worst and 6 being perfect): 3 stars