I drifted into consciousness. I was in the Ancient Cave once again. I smoothed the rough material that was bunched on my lap and it registered that I was wearing “my” robe, the robe that Aaraak had selected for me, again. Aaraak was at his desk flanked, as always, by his two brown-robed assistants. Their robes appeared to be identical to mine. It seemed likely they were students, graduate students, or teaching assistants, not the bodyguards that I had previously taken them to be.

“Where is Tor?” I asked, “I was hoping he would continue his explanation of the chakras.”

Aaraak responded with a touch of sarcasm, “Tor is busy this evening with other matters, but your wish is duly noted. Obviously I enjoy Tor’s company, and he will be here with us whenever possible.

“What I want you to do is to fully integrate the material that Tor already presented to you regarding the lower charkas. Carefully observe all those that you live with and around. You must understand the lower charkas in a concrete way before we travel too far into the potential of the upper five chakras. Your education is intended to be interactive, to parallel your development in the world. This will let your observations ripen and enrich your ‘real world’ experiences and interactions. It will also allow a full integration of your increasingly mature understanding of the processes you are going through. In other words, I want you to comprehend and use what you learn here. I am not asking you to repeat anything back to me and I am certainly not asking you to believe anything I say. Anything!”

He paused and tilted the top of his head toward me, seeming to peer at me as though he were wearing “granny” glasses that he had to peek over. “Only those mired in falseness, or the insecure, demand that you believe them, or in them. Please endeavor to remember this! This is one way in which liars and lesser teachers make themselves known (subconsciously and unconsciously, of course). If anyone asks you to believe in them, or their understanding, or their revelations, they are FALSE! Another way in which false teachers reveal themselves is when they begin to attack, and in some cases, even kill, those that disagree with them. You would think this to be self-evident, but the lesser religions of planet earth have often brought the inhabitants to the town square and said, loudly or quietly, convert to our ‘god’ or die! Yet these same religions have hundreds of millions of followers, of converts, of church/temple/mosque going faithful. Why? Because people seek the easy way out. To walk the spiritual path takes a lot of effort. Easier to just let the priest/mullah/rabbi/designated leader give out acceptable guidelines. Remember, I have previously mentioned to you the four levels of religion: outer, inner, secret, and esoteric. The inner path is available to the persistent earth dweller. Many a book and many a teacher gives instructions to those that look. We have chosen you (Well, more accurately, your ‘karma’ has ripened over many lifetimes and that made you the correct one to choose.) to give a fast-forward education on secret and esoteric matters with the understanding that you will, when your journey nears completion, share as much as possible with your friends and fellow citizens, through books and tapes and lectures.

“Today, however, we are talking about the outer level of religion. The outer level equates to the level of the humanoid body. It might ask for a few words muttered without understanding, or a few rituals repeated as they were learned, or following a code of behavior that the local society accepts, but not a lot is asked, ostensibly. But wait, this is all done with very little thought! Where is awareness? Where is soul? Or even the idea of soul? Where is spirit? Does the idea of spirit somehow equate to some definition of God? Is there only one God? Or three Gods? Or many Gods? Should God always be capitalized? Am I reverent enough? Do I have gratitude? Compassion? Faith? Do I have the right questions? Should I keep my mouth shut? Is it okay to wonder?”

He paused, clearly giving me some time to take this line of revealed insight in. In truth I had not thought much, if at all, along these lines. Nonetheless I was disturbed, disturbed deep within. It was true that the religious gatherings of the community of my youth had seemed superficial, even hypocritical, but I was not ready to condemn organized religion, nor dismiss all the followers of organized religions as lazy and misled, or even worse, the supporters of murder and other abuses of power. I noticed that my solar plexus was aching.

“Not pleasant, eh?” Aaraak asked, obviously attuned to my discomfort, “and it only gets worse. Listen carefully to my next statement. The outer level of the world’s popular religions is expert at creating slaves. They pay lip service to liberating the human soul but they are actually molding and restricting it. Their currency is the currency of bondage. Act in this way or we will put you in jail, ostracize you, or, if necessary, kill you. Where is there room for questions like the ones that I was asking a few minutes ago? The outer level of every religion does not want self-enquiry, does not want tough questions, does not want the follower to ask any questions at all.

“I can see that this is not easy for you to accept, to assimilate.” he continued, “so I will leave this matter for you to reflect on and we will return to it at a later date.”

After a brief pause during which I mostly attempted to breathe through the aching lump in my solar plexus region, an ache that seemed psychic, not physical, Aaraak went on, “As your mentor I will always be the one that arranges your curriculum. You are not required to believe anything that is presented to you. Skepticism is a healthy response and it is encouraged. Do not believe me, or any of our guests. Until you know something for yourself it is of limited usefulness. You will always be allowed to ask questions and have some input about the curriculum and other matters of format. The qualifier to this is that you will not always be allowed to speak, and to ask questions, when you want to. This might strike you as an issue now but it will not be one some years from now. The reason for this is that your mind will be slower and more powerful as you allow it to develop whereas now you are used to having momentary blips of thought, which you tend to blurt out, thinking them important, when they may not even be your own! Thoughts are like dust in the air, they float around and attach themselves to whatever mind they accidentally encounter.”

I was a bit insulted by his dismissal of my ability to make useful contributions, or ask intelligent or meaningful questions. This was clearly my worst visit. For some reason I was being asked to drink sour milk and I did not like it one bit. I promised myself that I would only be asking questions that were carefully considered.

“What you say and how you say it are of enormous importance.” He continued as though my thoughts were some part of his monologue. “There are three parts to their importance. Firstly you must be clear about what you are saying because you want it to be understood. Secondly you are always presenting yourself through what you say and how you say it. Lastly the person, or persons, that you are talking to can only understand what they are capable of understanding. You can give a brilliant lecture on relativity to a three year old but of what use is that?

“Back to the matter of what you are to be taught. You will be given a lot of information (sometimes in these informal talks, sometimes as formal lectures), practices (always with the three transmissions), demonstrations, introductions, ‘field’ trips, and lastly question-and-answer sessions.

“Your vacation in Lone Pine is drawing to a close, but your connection with us is not. These instructions will continue over the remaining decades of your life in that body, that sack of poop and stack of bones that you hear referred to as Dennis Waterman. Dennis Waterman is a fragile concept with a bad case of temporaryitis, so why be attached to it?”

He paused, as though waiting for a response, but I was both stunned and hurting, incapable of saying anything intelligent. I was not used to the beating I was getting. I was used to having the sacred idea that I was special and important. Poop and bones and temporary?

“The ongoing adventure will be adjusted according to your progress. Your progress will be judged by your ability to comprehend, to integrate, to focus, and to communicate with others. It is expected that you will be living a more-or-less ‘normal’ life outwardly while these teachings mature within you. Before or after your metamorphosis you will be asked to teach.”

“Metamorphosis?” I broke in, “What metamorphosis?” I wanted to ask about teaching too, but I wasn’t sure what or how to ask that, and one thing at a time. I certainly was entitled to ask about the “metamorphosis.” Was my skin color going to change? Was this a spiritual evolution, a mental evolution, a physical evolution? What? What? What?

“As with many questions that you have now, there is no meaningful answer. That is because you do not yet have an adequate foundation upon which to stand while asking such questions. For the moment the answer is when your seventh, eighth, and ninth chakras open. Our job right now is to strengthen your chakra base (first, second, and third chakras) so that you can fully open the middle chakras (fourth, fifth, and sixth chakras). When the middle chakras are open your questions will have real value.”

Once again I felt as though I had been slapped. I just wasn’t good enough. Perhaps someday I would be.

Aaraak peered at me and laughed. “Oh my! Aren’t we puffed up with our own self-importance! Just a little something to reflect upon. Okay. See you tonight!”

I was unhappy and beaten and defeated. My guts hurt. I was angry. I was ready to fight. And I was fading away.